Coffee, tea or dignity? Black Lives Matter

Forty-eight hours after first learning of the incident of two Black men who were arrested at a #Starbucks in Philadelphia last Thursday, and I am more — not less — angry. It is about so much more than this one incident. Racial bias and discrimination are so steeped in American culture that those of us who experience it on a regular basis have learned to live as second-class citizens in the country of our birth. To react or respond to every aggression, be it micro or macro, would take too much of a toll on our well-being. And yet, remaining silent is not really an option either. Internalizing these experiences does its own share of harm. Either way, our lives are shorter because of it.

Many folks have expressed pride or relief because the two men remained calm. I get that. I am glad, too. We have seen far too many incidents that have quickly spiraled out of control. But there is an ugly side to that, as well. Black people, men in particular, are not allowed the full range of emotional expression in public spaces. Even when an emotion other than being calm is warranted, we have been taught and have learned to police our emotions. No matter how badly we are being treated or how much our dignity is being assailed, we have to be the ones maintaining control and being responsible for deescalating these situations. We are not allowed to be angry. Or loud. Or boisterous. Or too happy or too celebratory. Or, effectively, to be human. We police ourselves because we know that others are already policing us. That, too, takes a toll.

It is interesting how many people are doing double and triple back flips to justify what happened here. Are folks that addicted to Starbucks’ coffee? It is well past time to quit making excuses for racist behavior. I am a huge supporter of the #MeToo movement. As more people are becoming inclined to believe the stories of women (and men) who have been sexually harassed or assaulted, it is time to start believing stories of racial discrimination and bias. Enough with the rationalizations and alternative theories. That’s not helpful. And believe us because we are credible messengers of our own truths and lived experiences. Not because a white person or a video can validate us. #BelieveUs